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The Fake Science Laboratories ask that you stay on the lookout for evil twins. Grab each person you meet, by the shoulders, and scream: ARE YOU THE GOOD ONE?!

Today’s Lesson

New Frontiers in Twin-speriments

Honestly, our greatest interest — no, twinterest — in twins is combining the word twin with other words. It helps with the fact that everything in the world has gone twinsane.

However, twins also provide a unique twinportunity to see how highly similar people respond to experiments. These so called “twin studies” combine scientific precision with a nice Wes Anderson aesthetic.

  • In one twin study, each twin was given a different food to eat. For example, we gave Harold a stick of butter and Derek a stick of dynamite. Even though the butter was higher in fat, Harold died a full 59 years after Derek ate the dynamite.

  • Can twins pass information through an extrasensory mechanism? We experimented with this by keeping two twins imprisoned in adjacent rooms for decades. When they both die, we’ll be able to release our results.

  • Identical twins: are they truly identical? We switched Gary and Larry Maxwell’s identities every day for a month, and they both sued our lab for the exact same amount. Twincredible!

From the Lab

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