Moths and homeschooling

Learn how to hide from both moths and your children

The Fake Science Laboratories have gotten a new burner phone for drug deals and a burner Bunsen burner for making drugs. Don’t tell anybody.

Today’s Lesson

Lessons For The Kids

Lately, you may find yourself having more time than ever with the kids at home, lurking, refusing to go to their school just because it’s “officially closed.” Fortunately, the Fake Science labs have been creating at-home lessons for years in an attempt to educate gerbils advanced enough to replace 40% of our workforce.

Most of the gerbils ended up majoring in English, but we did have some success at the elementary school level with the following lessons:

  • How strong can you make a bridge out of popsicle sticks alone? Nobody knows, but your children will grow fat and sleepy eating enough popsicles to learn.

  • Just because you’re teaching at home doesn’t mean you can’t borrow a trick or two from trained educators, like watching a movie for a week and a half.

  • Who hasn’t seen a microscope and thought, why not just stare at something really big, through a cup that you call a normalscope? This will be your 1:15-2:00 PM lesson, every day.

  • Observing our world is as important as reading about it in a textbook. What can you child discover about physics, biology, and chemistry while working in the small but profitable telemarketing phone bank you’ve set up in your foyer?

  • What if the Periodic Table became an actual table in your living room? This fun idea is a great excuse for all the chemicals you have spread out in your dining room, and it also explains why your children are occupied examining powder and putting it into small plastic baggies.

From the Lab

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