Groundhog boredom and the search for a vaccine

It's time to break some expectations and test tubes.

The Fake Science Laboratories concede this was the wrong time to bring back body shots to the workplace.

Today’s Lesson

Update: The search for a vaccine

Like so many labs around the world, the Fake Science Labs have been in search of a vaccine. We haven’t found one yet, though we did find a cure to boredom: did you know your computer comes with Solitaire! So fun!

Here are a few tips we’ve come up with in our early vaccine research.

• A lot of bioethicists agree that human challenge trials, in which people volunteer to take a vaccine and be exposed to a disease, are unethical. You know what else is unethical? Putting a bunch of bioethicists in a Murderdome and having them fight to the death, which is what is going to happen unless they change their mind about the human challenge trials.

• Sometimes, a vaccine can come from an unusual place: don’t you see, it was inside you, all along? It was a thing called hope! (Do you think insurance companies will cover that, if we hire a doctor to say it to people? We are really struggling financially.)

• One of our scientists left an orange in the lab over the weekend. When she returned on Monday, she discovered that it was covered in mold. Remembering the story of Penicillin, she quickly ate the orange. Anyway, she’s dead now, but we’re hoping to find some good research on her computer or something. Always make sure you know your scientists’ passwords!

From the Lab

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Today’s Classic Lesson