Genetic Imagineering Edition!

Meet he lizard/elephant crossbreed that haunts your dreams.

The Fake Science Laboratories ask that you reproduce inside a Punnett square.

Today’s Lesson

Our big breakthroughs in genetic imagineering

Since we learned we were about 40 years late to the party on genetic engineering, in 2016 we established a new department: Genetic Imagineering.

Unconstrained by tradition or a fundamental knowledge of DNA, our scientists began altering genetic code with a mixture of whimsy and button mashing. In just a few months, our lab was covered with the carcasses of our experiments.

There were, however, survivors, including:

• The Catamaran: A cross between a common house-cat and a maran, a breed of chicken, the catamaran hates you and clucks at you in equal measure. Unfortunately, it doesn’t taste like chicken.

• Alligator Special Edition: This alligator was given human cognition abilities after being injected with a large beaker of “Brain Juice” we found in the janitor’s closet. Though the alligator still can’t perform most basic reasoning tasks, it is deeply ashamed of all the brain juice that keeps leaking from its eyes.

• DogPeach: We’re not going to sugarcoat this one, because it tastes terrible when coated with sugar. The dogpeach is full of hair and teeth and it’s never ripe. It also goes to the bathroom when you take it for rolls around the block.

• Baby Gillsalot: Yes, we crossed a baby and a guppie. We don’t want to talk about it. We ruined a perfectly good guppie.

From the Lab

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Today’s Classic Lesson