Early Earth and saving water

It's the topic that's on nobody's mind.

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How to save water

As June rolls on, there’s one topic that’s on literally nobody’s mind: how do I conserve slightly more water?

Fortunately, our lab has been working nonstop on this question due to a grant from the Dasani Institute (it’s a mental hospital for people who’ve been driven insane trying to tell the difference between Poland Spring and Dasani). After a few months of sweating the small stuff, and then taking that sweat, boiling it, and drinking it, our team has come up with some completely OK tips.

  1. Consider showering once a day instead of using your perma-shower (in which you shower all day and have all your food and electronics brought into the bathtub with you).

  2. Yes, it’s fun for kids to run through the sprinkler, but it’s a little wasteful. Instead, have them stand outside the 7/11 heckling people who buy bags of ice.

    As soon as your little tyke says, “What’s that for, you big Ice Bag freak?” they’ll start getting ice thrown at them. It’s a fun and painful way to stay cool.

  3. Finally, we all should go without watering our shrubs until they get a cooler sounding name.

Today’s Classic Lesson