Baby food and expiration dates
It's all going bad soon.
The Fake Science Laboratories apologize for claiming that a surgical mask allows anybody wearing it to perform surgery.
Today’s Lesson
Has your food gone bad?
Lately, a lot of people have been stockpiling canned goods, and not for the typical reason (cans are incredibly beautiful and better than conventional wall art). With that food stockpiling comes a big question: has it gone bad?
The Fake Science labs employ a team of food scientists in our Omaha outpost, and they have some recommendations for keeping your cans of lard-soaked spinach perfectly oleaginous!
Check the can. Is it dented? Are their teeth marks? Are there no visible teeth marks because it’s currently lodged in the powerful jaws of the local predatory alligator, Mr. Morgan? If so, hang your open mouth below Mr. Morgan’s, carefully slurping the juice that dribbles down.
A lot of people are buying giant bags of beans. However, using those beans as a bean bag may ruin them, especially if you follow the house rules that “bean bag time is naked time.” Do not eat the beans from naked time — they may be partially cooked already.
Having a few jugs of water on hand can be useful, but you’ll want to boil it, then freeze it, then boil it again. This isn’t for sterilization, it’s just to figure out a way to pass the minutes, the endless, stalling minutes. It’s only Tuesday!
There’s an urban legend that Twinkies can endure through a nuclear attack. Is it worth destroying the world to test it? The answer is: say goodbye to your family and friends, we need to get to work and blow up everything but the Twinkies.
From the Lab
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Today’s Classic Lesson
