A Special Thanksgiving Message
If you're Canadian, forward this to yourself a month ago.
The Fake Science Labs are thankful for…you! And Beryllium. Not necessarily in that order.
Things to be thankful for
Every year at the Fake Science Labs, we spend the holiday being thankful for our major funders, like the Asbestos Collective of America. Did you know they send out a ton of great Thanksgiving recipes? You’ll have to try their stuffing.
After a short romp on our asbestos trampoline, we make a quick beeline to the respiratory doctor before gathering together for a meal.
Then, the real fun begins. We all go around the laboratory table and say what we’re thankful for, including:
Test tubes. Before these incredible inventions, you had to call over Lenny, pour chemicals into his mouth, and hope he didn’t swallow any of them.
Bunsen burner. Bunsen had to be punished. Now we burn him when he is bad, he becomes pure in the blue flame.
Gloves. These are used primarily for sanitation and they’re great, they weren’t used to cover up the murder of Annabelle Grace, the nosy reporter who had lots of questions about our delicious Asbestos Cakes (they’re the asbestos you’ll ever eat!).
Laboratory tables. Before these, scientists were forced to work in teams: one scientist to do the science, another to kneel on all fours to make a laboratory back.
From the Lab
It’s almost time to start buying things to make other people happy.
Have you explored our store?