A Safer Halloween
A new normal for the abnormal
Sponsored Content by the Institute for Apple Bobbing
This year, Halloween will be different due to the necessary safety precautions — but it can still be fun.
Over the past few months, our team of laboratory scientists and public relations professionals have created a new list of safety procedures, thanks to a grant from the Institute for Apple Bobbing (funded by the Apple Bobbing Barrel Makers of America). Our team came up with some great ideas about how to avoid contagions this Halloween and still have fun.
Yes, trick or treating is out. Instead, you’ll need to place individually-wrapped treats on the base of your porch, a minimum of six feet apart. Once you’ve created a fence around your perimeter (marked with safe, socially distant circles showing kids where to line up), you can admit them one at a time to retrieve a treat.
After these precautions are followed, it can be fun to have them dunk their heads and lick around for delicious apples! A big barrel helps you fit in as many as 5 little heads at once, allowing all their tongues to hunt for fun in the crisp clear water.
With little ones, it’s especially important to be cautious. Though studies have shown surface transmission is rare, it can happen. A novelty mask can be especially tempting. If your child is wearing a Halloween mask under their surgical mask, you may need to wash it and then destroy it immediately afterward so no contagions are spread.
The bright side is that this will leave friends (and strangers) more time to submerge their wet mouths in water! Make sure you’ve got a big new barrel to dunk your heads in, creating a seamless transition between the pool of water and candy-stimulated saliva.
It’s only natural for adults to wonder: in an uncertain world, how can I regain a sense of normalcy? Still, precautions should be taken. If you’re having a party, it’s best to restrict it to a core group of trusted friends. Meet outdoors, staying six to ten feet apart, masked, for about twenty minutes to minimize risk of contagious disease.
If all these new procedures cause you stress, that’s completely normal. Our team recommends letting loose in the best possible way: find a street corner and start apple bobbing with strangers in your beautiful new apple bobbing barrel, with a freshly stocked selection of apples, a sense of competition, and readiness to have a rollicking good time!
Thanks again to the Institute for Apple Bobbing for supporting our extensive studies on making Halloween fun and safe.
Though our study was cut short by oddly frequent disease transmission, and two drownings, this I.A.B. grant helped make our research possible.
From the Lab
Consider this forwarding prompt our trick or treat. If you don’t forward this email, we will “trick” your employer into believing you embezzled $2,500 last April.
Today’s Classic Lesson
